Because this is amusing...

Date: 2004-05-30 01:44 am (UTC)
You know you’re Asian if...

1.Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.

2.Your dad is some sort of engineer.

3.Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.

4.You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.


5.You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.

6.You shop at Ranch 99 (what the hell is that?)

7.Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.

8.You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life. (Well Hugh has)

9.Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.

10.You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.

11.Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."


12.You drive mostly Japanese cars.

13.You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.


14.You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.

15.At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say . . . "

16.You know what bok choy is.


17.You've ever gotten little red envelopes around February.

18.Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.

19.You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you.

20.Old asian women envy your curly hair (curly hair, what curly hair?)

21.Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so- popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc.

22.Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.


23.The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner.

24.Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher. (they did? Wow!)

25.At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses.

26.Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In China (or other native country), we studied even more."


27.Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.

28.An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"

29.Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both.

30.Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade! It's so easy."


31.Everyone thinks you're good at math.

32.Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wah's"

33.Your parents like $1.75 movies

34.Your parents like $1.50 movies even more.

35.Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.


36.Your parents insist you marry within your race.

37.You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.
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